


The Journal of Kamilah Sayeed

by curiousgeorgeII



Category: Bloodbound (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-27 21:23:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiousgeorgeII/pseuds/curiousgeorgeII





	1. One hour, post-turning

It is too quiet.

We defeated Gaius. _She_ defeated Gaius.

Centuries of training, fighting, preparing. And it was her. Why did it have to be her?

The silence shakes me to my core. Amy is not quiet, and the hush as I sit here, waiting, it is too much.

How many times must I hold death in my arms?

Amy is strong, so strong and brave and...stupid, too. But aren't all humans? Aren't we all stupid when it comes to the ones we love?

Flashes of the fight fill my mind, pulling me further into the darkness around me.

Amy, my queen, stabbed, and still she does what I could not. She saved us all. She saved me.

I am weak. Weak, and selfish, and stupid. I could not lose her, and she may hate me for it. As she lay in my arms, I knew I would do anything.

Anything to see her again. Anything to right the wrongs, even if that meant creating more.

I have been alive for so long. I am weary. Every day is a battle, Amy my only reprieve. She is peace, and hope.

I sit by the sarcophagus, my finger running over the scarab in my palm. I can still hear her voice:

"The scarab is a symbol of rebirth, if I'm recalling my college class correctly?"

Oh, Amy. There is still so much I want to say to you, to do with you. How foolish I feel, now, having wasted so much of our time together.

I didn't know, that day, how I'd love you. How could I know your strength, and kindness, and your beautiful heart?

I tried to tell you, my love. I tried but you were so cold, I don't know if you heard the words as they fell from my feeble lips.

Time moves at a snail's pace, and my hands shake in fear, too tired to brush the tears from my cheeks. I have not cried so much in thousands of years. Since my brother.

You must survive, my queen. All that I've done, all the destruction I have brought, I cannot be to blame for this, too. I cannot bear it.

Gaius is my responsibility. Everything that he has done, I am accountable for. How can I thank you, for ending my hell? For saving me not only from him, but from myself?

Amy, please, come back to me.


	2. After being turned, circa 47 BC

I am different now.  
I thought that I would die, I suppose I have.  
This man... No, not a man. A monster. Just like me.  
He calls himself Gaius. I tried to escape him, but he was immune to my attacks, healing as quickly as I harmed him.  
I should not be here. I should be dead.  
He calls me his Queen.  
I don't know if I want to be his Queen, but I do not feel like myself. For the first time in my life, I am truly afraid.  
He speaks of conquest, of greatness. He paints such brilliant images with his silver tongue.  
I have nothing, I am no one. The woman I was, sister to Lysimachus, she is no more.  
Oh, brother.  
I run my fingers over your horse, all I have left of you. What would you think of me now, brother?   
Would you look on with disgust?   
Would you tell me to do what I must to survive?   
Gaius is all I have now. He scares me, but I also feel compelled to please him. He has some hold on me, I can't help myself.  
I have always been strong, but this creature has me bowed before him, offering all that I am.  
I do not feel like royalty, with his eyes raking my body as he spits the word "Queen."  
I feel dirty.  
I've scrubbed my skin raw but cannot remove the filth I feel.  
He promises me power, says we will bend the world to our whim.  
His eyes rage red, I see them when I close my eyes.  
I have never felt such love and hate as I do now.  
For him, for myself, for how he makes me feel.  
I am clay in his hands and he makes and remakes me as he sees fit.  
I am a shadow of myself.  
He says he loves me.


	3. Damascus, Syria

I have left Egypt behind to follow my King.  
I will miss what I've known, but Gaius is my life now.  
He is all that I have.  
He is all that matters. Keeping him happy is all that matters.  
I cannot... I must not upset him. Not again.

The last time, I barely survived.  
Lysimachus would be so disappointed in me. All of my family would be. They raised me to be strong, to wage war and take prisoners, and here I am, a prisoner myself. He is too strong. I tried, I tried to fight it, to remain the woman they knew.  
The woman I was.  
A woman I liked.

But Gaius beat that out of me. My pride, my hope, every blow carved my soul a little deeper. I have survived arrows and daggers, seen horrors unimaginable, but it all pales in comparison to that night.

He suspected I was trying to leave him. I denied it, but he could not be convinced. He writes his own reality, and this night I was the enemy. He grabbed me by the hair, yanking me off the ground. "Please, you're hurting me," I begged.   
Me. Begging.  
He got off on the torture, I could see that in his glowing red eyes.

"You are my Queen. You will not leave me. I will see to it that you remember where your loyalty lies," he hissed at me.

He tossed me against the stone wall, the air exiting my lungs. In a flash he was on me again, his tongue running up my neck. I could not speak, I could not move.

He dragged me to a chair, tied me there, not that he needed the ties. He had complete control of me. I was his puppet, and he knew it.

He moved the chair before a blacked out window. It was morning, but I couldn't see the day. Until he grabbed his knife, and began cutting small holes in the tarp.

The sun burned into my arms, my legs. It felt like a million tiny flames devouring me whole.

"You will honor your King," he said to me, frenzied. His eyes blazed and my body burned.

"Tell me, do you love me?" he asked.

"Yes," I grunted. 

"Yes, what?" he asked, smiling.

"Yes, my King."

"Will you worship me and serve me with the entirety of your life?"

I was panting now, my vision blurring.

"Yes, my King." The darkness surrounded me as he began to slide my chair.

"Good girl," I heard him say as everything went black.

I had hoped to die that day. I prayed that the darkness would keep me, and my suffering would end.

Forgive me, brother. I cannot experience such anguish again, no matter what it takes.


	4. Egypt, the first week with Gaius

I have killed so many people.  
It is hard to feel shame, when the hunger is so maddening, but once I've had my fill it finds its way.  
I am so ashamed of myself every day.  
Gaius says this is the way it is supposed to be. He says that we are superior to humans and it is our duty to remind them.  
But I think of my family, my friends, those I've fought with. Those who have willingly died for me.  
And I can't help but cry for those who die for me unwillingly. Because I am weak and without control, and my lust for blood cannot be contained.  
Gaius is so powerful, I can't let him know of these thoughts.  
He looks at me like I'm the sun itself. I don't know how he sees me so favorably, but I want to be the person he sees. The strong one, the beautiful one, a Queen.  
And at the same time, he makes me feel worthless.  
How is that possible? That he makes me feel like royalty and scum in the same breath?

It's the same in the bedroom... I don't even want to sleep with him, but when he pursues me, I feel obligated to comply.  
His eyes throb red, and I am under his command. I'm like a fly to a spider.  
His hands are rough, and nothing about the experience is easy. I do not like feeling so out of control, as he throws me around, chokes me. Forces himself inside me.  
I think of summertime with my brother. Playing, running, learning to fight. I go anywhere that is not beneath him. And when he rolls of me with a huff, I am relieved and heartbroken in a single chord. 

How do I love this man? How do I need this man? I barely know him, and I live for him. I do not like him, but already I know that I would die for him. I've given him complete control, he is all that I have. No human would want me. I haven't met any others like me, though he says they exist. My body is bruised, my pride is broken. He has remade me into who he wants me to be, and I serve him. And when he unleashes me onto humans, and tells me to feed... 

Well. It's as if the war inside myself is released. I rage against innocent mortals because I cannot rage against him. And for a second, one moment before the blood on my hands brings me back, I feel like I'm in control.


	5. Somewhere in Europe

My name strikes fear in the heart of enemies and allies alike.  
I finally feel more like myself, a conquerer, a force to be reckoned with.  
I owe it all to Gaius. We've built an empire together, and I feel some purpose, some reason for existing again.  
I marvel at how far we've come. From those first days when I fought him, fought his ways. And now here I am, ruling by his side, a true Queen. The Queen he saw me to be all along.  
I can't say that it feels good, or that I am happy, but I don't think these things are meant for a monster like me.  
All that I get is prestige and power. The rush of holding someone's life in the palm of my hand... I know it is wrong, deep down. Some part of me knows better. But that last shred of my humanity is barely clinging on.  
Now when Gaius and I are in bed, it's all I can think of. Pillaging villages, feasting on every mortal I find. It makes me feel powerful, in control of myself and my life and my destiny.  
I have come to terms with what I am. I know that I am a monster and I will never like myself again. I know that every day I am one step closer to losing myself entirely. But I am what Gaius has made me, and he is proud of me. He loves me.

And honestly, right now he is the only one who does. He is my King and I am his, entirely and completely his. He owns my body, my soul, my will, my heart. Every breath he allows me to take is in servitude to him. I can't deny that I feel lonely, sometimes. Gaius is not one to form connections, he takes and he gives, just enough to keep me around for more taking.

I have made some acquaintances, but I can see the fear in their eyes, the mistrust. I am Gaius and Gaius is me, and they do not want to cross the King. I can't really blame them. Most days I don't trust myself either. How can I trust someone who completely changes her existence for a man like Gaius? 

But at least I am coming back to my roots, I am strong and I've found a sliver of control. I can live with this. I'll hold to it like it's all I have.


	6. Italy, circa the Renaissance

I've met someone. A human.  
She seems different, though. She is so soft and kind, and she paints the most beautiful images. Who knew such beauty could exist?   
She makes me feel warm. I didn't know I could feel like this, after being turned.  
Gaius has always spoken of power, of being gods, but this... He's never mentioned feeling this.  
My stomach flutters at the thought of her.  
She makes me feel safe. I haven't felt safe in so long.  
I think I may truly be happy.

Ah, I sound like a schoolgirl. I am just so enamored with the thought of her.  
We stay up to all hours of the night, just talking. She paints me, calls me her muse. She says I am the sunshine in a dark world.

I know that she's wrong. I know that I am death, destroyer of worlds. I am the darkness she tries to escape. But truly, when she looks at me with such light in her eyes, I can almost believe her. How desperately I want to believe her. It is wearisome, spending eternity as a black hole, cold and dark and destructive. I want to be her sun.

Do you think I could? Could I change for her? Perhaps not, all I know is that when I look into her beautiful blue eyes, it seems like anything is possible.

I know that I am getting ahead of myself. I know that it is foolish of me to put so much on a human. They are fragile and fickle, but they are also so beautiful and emotional, and I am beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, I could learn something from them.

Their time is brief, but it seems so much more meaningful. She sees more and appreciates more in the simplest of things than I in centuries of my life. 

And they live so freely. I am always trapped in my existence. I thought that this was just the way it had to be. I thought that being Gaius's plaything was a necessary evil. But she makes me question everything.

I escape to her when Gaius is through. He rolls off me and passes out so quickly, and I leave immediately. And she holds my bruised and battered body, she just sits with me. The silence is such a sweet relief, just the sound of her heart, the hitch of her breath. It is such a sweet solace.

But her eyes, those beautiful seas, they look at me so sad. Every time, I can see her heart breaking. I reassure her that I am okay, that I just miss her and want to be with her, but I know she knows. How could someone who can capture light breaking through the window not see what I try to hide so haphardly? I am forever destroyed, broken. She knows, and I know that she knows, but she doesn't say a word. We sit in the quiet and she loves me.

And I've never felt so compelled to leave Gaius behind. To seek better. To be better. And maybe it's crazy, but I really do think that I could be her sun.


	7. Italy, in loss

The stars have been robbed from my sky.

I will never forget his face as I tore him limb from limb. The Wolf of Venice is no more, but there is no justice in this.

How could I? How could I let harm come to the most beautiful, kind, loving woman I've known?

I was supposed to be with her. I should have been there. I could have stopped him. But Gaius, he was energetic. He demanded a second round, and I had to comply. And he murdered her, while she lay there, waiting for me to join her.

How easy it must have been for him, sliding in quietly. Sure, perhaps she heard a rustle. But she probably suspected that he was me. God damn it, it should have been me. I swore that I would protect her, and instead... I failed. 

I don't know what to do now. I was happy, and now... now I wonder if it was all a mistake. Believing that I could be better, that I deserved better. I knew, fuck, I know who I am. I said it from the start, I am death and darkness. And I've snuffed out her light. Her bright, beautiful light.

I'm a fucking tornado, destroying everything in my path. Gaius was right all along. I am meant to end, to destroy, to devour. Her beauty, her softness, her kindness... how can I live, knowing that I'm to blame for robbing the world of her presence? 

If I could die for her to live, I would do it in an instant. But she is gone and I am here, a monster in a hideous world, with no will to live.

But I cannot die. Not for a lack of trying. I took a stake to my chest, but I was stopped within inches of my heart. I suspect it is Gaius, his hold on me, the way he is in my head. Even wishing for death, I am still wired to serve him. And I can't do that as a pile of ash.

So what is left, then, but to be his perfect servant?


	8. Ancient Egypt

Father gave me this journal.  
He said, "Habibti, the world is a hard place. You must not let them see you. If they can see you, they can hurt you. But you are still you. I want you to have this, to be you. Write your feelings, be vulnerable, this is just for you."  
He smiled at me, kneeled before me and looked into my eyes and pulled me into a hug.  
Father doesn't hug me often. I worry that something bad is coming. But I held my head high, like he taught me.  
But I can tell you. I am afraid. Mother, father, 'Si, they are my world.  
But the days seem longer, and they are more serious. I don't know why, but I worry.

I told mother about you, that father had given you to me. "That is good, my child. It is important to feel your feelings. To process. To share. Your father is right, emotion is an opening for your enemies. But that does not mean you shouldn't feel. Feeling makes you strong, it makes you you. But you must be careful."

So I guess that means you're my friend. Next to 'Si, of course, I think you might be my best friend. I can't tell anyone else how I feel, can't let them see me cry. Even 'Si tells me it isn't safe. He is so much like father. He is hard and strong and brave. Sometimes I see him, the true him. He lets me see more than anyone else. We are so close, we do everything together. We have been together since the start. He is the sun and I am the moon. Mother says we are all the light in the universe.

But I don't know if this is true. We are small, and she and father shine so bright. They are everything I want to be. Strong and brave and kind and patient. I love them, and they love me, and 'Si.

Sometimes there is fighting, and there are mean people. But I feel safe with mother and father. I know they will protect us, and no one can defeat them. They are the best of the best. One day I hope I can make others feel so safe. I want to protect people the way they protect me.

Oh! 'Si wants me to play with him. Goodbye my friend. I'll write again soon.


	9. Sometime, post-Renaissance

Another day, another attack.  
The years have blurred together. Every day the same.  
Kill for Gaius, sleep with Gaius, worship Gaius.  
I haven't felt in a while. After losing her, there really hasn't been much point.

I was thinking today, about my parents. They taught me to write, to feel. I haven't, since I killed the monster that took her. I shut down, and I became the perfect... everything. Anything Gaius needed, I did.

And I didn't even blink. Didn't think twice. I needed to destroy, to manifest the rage and the pain that was consuming me whole. Because I couldn't feel it. Despite what my parents taught me... I couldn't.

When you're like me... eternal... time is harder. Everything is so disorienting. I've seen civilizations come and go, many at my own hand. And this, well, it complicates things.

Generally, I put less stock in my emotions. I know that everything is fleeting and I am not. These things that matter so much to humans are like grains of sand, slipping through my hands.

But she was different. Her love, my love for her, it mattered. It was not fleeting. I still love her. And so mourning is more complex. Because I could live thousands of years, and still love her. When you're human, they say time eases the pain. And that means something, because time is finite and you need to move on, to make the most of what remains.

But me, I have all the time. There is no expiration, so the pain will be a part of me forever. And yes, maybe I will die someday. But, I have no timeline. I just keep going with no end in sight. My eternity with be colored with her loss, with my anguish.

I've tried to cope by plunging myself into my work. I have spent days and nights alike by Gaius's side, working to build out empire. Romancing allies, murdering foes, trying to please him and be the best Queen that I can be.

I don't really know what that means for me. What that makes me, what my future holds. Honestly, I hardly care. The tedium is overwhelming. All I can do is the same things, and try to find some meaning in it. And avoid feeling, caring, loving. Avoid experiencing this heartbreak again. Because going through this once has almost ended me, and I cannot bear it again.


	10. After Gaius turned a new pet

I am a glorified babysitter.  
Gaius has become rather smitten with his new plaything, but he insists on sending him off with me.  
He calls him his soldier, as if this pup could ever rival my years of killing.  
He is foolish and irritating, and I don't know what Gaius sees in him.  
He is so...human. He's constantly seeking Gaius's approval, desperate for some affection. Any affection.  
He is quick to put his life at risk, and subsequently, my life at risk.  
I will admit, though, I admire his consience. He is constantly torn between pleasing our master and sparing lives of innocents.  
I think only a good man would struggle with this. It reminds me of me, a long time ago.  
Before Gaius had his way. Before I forgot the importance of right and wrong, before I lost sight of my morality.  
It is no matter, Gaius is too powerful to contradict.  
He is like a bright flame, and we fools are moths. Intoxicated, desperate to get closer and closer, until he burns us alive.  
I once believed that I deserved good things, that I was worthy of the universe's blessing. And maybe I was, then.  
But now, I am just a means to an end. Gaius's end.   
I know he will be my demise. I know as I look at his perfectly beautiful lips, as he rakes his rough hands across my cheek in that way that I love to hate, I know he will end me.  
But after as long as I've lived, pain is just as pure as joy. And that hurt, the anguish that he brings me, it makes me feel alive when nothing else can.  
So I babysit. And I kill. And I submit. I bend to his will, and I watch myself fade away. And he stands in my place.  
Every part of me is shaped by his hands, pulled and prodded into place.  
I don't even know what to say anymore. I can't excuse who I am. But I can't be anyone else, either.  
Maybe Adrian has the right idea, plowing into danger in Gaius's name, risking his life. Maybe he too hopes to die.   
I think that's the effect Gaius has. He makes you want to end your life rather than serve him, but his control is too great.  
How pitiful is that? That I can easily massacre entire towns, but I cannot take my own life? What a fucked up world I live in.  
Forgive me, mother, father, brother. I know you fought for me, perished so that I could live. I just wish I could exist in a way that wouldn't bring you shame.  
I may not deserved better, but I think the world does.


	11. Coming to America - Pt1

We are going to a new world. Gaius is ecstatic, it is hard not to feel the same way. His link to me, it almost puts our emotions in sync.  
He says things will be different, in this new land. That we will call the shots. We've boarded a boat, and already I feel claustrophobic.   
Gaius and I make rounds, mingling with the mortals. He intoduces me as his wife, and I only speak when spoken to. We need to win them over, to own this new land. Gaius befriended the captains, and brought extra provisions to share with the other travelers.  
The journey is said to take 6 weeks, but Gaius says this can be prolonged by weather and other unforeseen circumstances.  
There are other women passengers, though they don't pay me much attention.  
One of the captain's name is William. He gives me a bad feeling. His eyes linger on me. He doesn't even try to hide his interest.  
I mentioned it to Gaius, but he laughed it off. "Relax, my Queen. I will not let anyone else touch you." His cheshire smile made my stomach weak.

Later -  
There are a few other vampires who joined us. I feel I can be myself with them, instead of this subordinate that the mortal men expect.  
Privacy is hard to come by. We are all tightly packed, it makes me anxious. Some days I think about diving over the edge, taking the whole of the ocean for myself.  
The ocean and I have a lot in common, I think. We are both dark and dangerous, and our might is unparalleled. There is a restlessness to it, as well. A restlessness that matches my soul. If I still have a soul, that is.

A few weeks in-   
The weather has been less than pleasant, extending our trip. I do not know how long we'll be, but the mood has shifted. Illness has taken some passengers, their bodies gifted to the sea. Gaius has determined to turn things around for his new thralls, throwing a party to lift their spirits. 

I am sitting alone under the stars, now, as Gaius parties. The men are rambunctious and lewd. It's disheartening that they will run our new world, but to hear Gaius tell it, they will simply be puppets, and we the masters.  
There is a woman, crying in the dark. Were it not for my heightened senses, I wouldn't hear her. The men are far too loud and self-involved, drowning her out.   
I cannot help myself, I am drawn to her.

She is almost completely hidden from sight. I kneeled before her, taking her hand. "Who has hurt you?" I asked.  
She sniffled, looking away. "It is nothing," she replied. I could see the distrust in her eyes.  
"You can trust me," I promised her. "Please, let me help."  
She finally met my eyes, lip quivering. "My husband was taken by illness, and I fear I will not have enough food with the extended voyage. I went to the captain, to see if anything could be done..." she trails off, fresh tears springing from her eyes.  
"What is it?" I asked.  
"He said that we could work something out, but the type of trade he has in mind... Oh, he spoke of such unsavory things. My poor husband would roll over in his watery grave. But if I do not... If I do not do as he asks, I fear I will starve to death. I'm sorry for troubling you with this, for disrupting your party. I just, I've never felt so alone as I do now."  
I frowned at the woman, disgusted with the captain's demands.   
"Tell me, which captain did you speak with?"   
"Captain William," the woman replies.  
Of course.   
"My husband has brought extra rations. I will see to it that you get some." I responded, helping the woman to her feet.   
"Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!"  
"It is my pleasure," I assured her. "Women should not be subject to such horrors merely to survive."  
The woman smiled at me, tears still streaming down her face, before releasing my hand and walking back to her cabin.

I returned to the party, waiting for a moment with Gaius, where I told him about the favors Captain William was demanding. Where I expected anger or disgust, I saw Gaius's eyes light up. He raised his hand to his chin, as if in thought.  
"William is very powerful, he has a lot of influence. It would greatly distress our relationship with him to threaten him."  
My eyes widened in shock. "You aren't seriously suggesting that we leave her to him?" I asked.   
"No," Gaius replied. "Merely that we may need to bring something to the table. And I have just the idea."  
"What's that?" I retorted.  
"You," he stared at me.  
"Me?" I asked, my mouth dry.  
"Yes. William hasn't been able to take his eyes off you. I can convince him to release the woman. But you must take her place, my Queen."  
"But... But you said you wouldn't let anyone touch me..." I fumbled the words, trying to wrap my head around his ask.  
"And I wouldn't. No one will lay a hand on you, against your will. But you want this, don't you? It would thrill me greatly to see you with another man, this man, using your gorgeous body to consolidate power." I looked at his eyes, bright red. I felt his excitement.  
"I don't know.." I whispered, already feeling the agreement on my lips.  
"Very well, I'll let the woman know..."   
"No," I interrupted, eyes downcast. "I'll do it."   
"How delightful," Gaius responded.


	12. Coming to America - Pt2

Gaius set it up for later in the week, and William found any excuse he could to be around me. His eyes, his hands, his body, all finding their way to my body.  
I tried to reassure myself that it was the right thing to do, that it would please Gaius, that it spared the woman.  
Sooner than I'd have liked, the night had come. Gaius met me ahead of time, wanting to ensure I was presentable.  
"I can't have you ruining this for me," he had said offhandedly. He glanced over me, a wolfish smile on his face.  
"Are you nervous?" he asked, his eyes darkening. It almost looked like he was enjoying himself.  
"A little," I said quietly.  
"Do not worry," he dismissed my fears, "it will be as if I am the one inside you. You are doing this for me, he is just a toy."  
I nodded, not feeling any better. He took my hand and led me to the cabin's quarters.  
He opened the door and motioned me in. William stood unabashedly naked before us, his smile as wide as a cracked egg.  
"Ah, I have so been looking forward to this," he said, grabbing me and tossing me to the cot behind him.  
Gaius stood by my head, commanding as ever.  
"Tie her up," he said. William complied, pulling some rope from a drawer. "Face down," Gaius instructed. William roughly flipped me over, knotting my hands to the pipe behind his cot.  
Gaius ripped my clothes off, and quickly removed his belt, handing it to William.  
"Whip her," he grunted as he struggled to take off the rest of his clothes.  
I screamed as the belt stung against my bottom. William continued, quick, hard blows raining down on me. I tried to convince myself that this was okay, that I had wanted this. That's what Gaius had said, after all. And I agreed. Right?  
I had become numb by the time Gaius instructed William to stop.  
Gaius grabbed me by the hair, ripping my face upward to meet him. He entered my mouth at the same time William entered me from behind.  
Tears stung my eyes. This did not feel good. It felt demoralizing, and painful, and awful. Whatever hope I'd had for this new world Gaius spoke of had quickly dissipated.  
I closed my eyes and thought of the ocean. The dark ebb and flow, the crashing waves. I could feel the cold depths encompass me. Untold horrors lurked inside the ocean, and man had debased her just as he had me. I promised myself that I would rise again, that I would swallow man whole, just as the ocean devoured ships.   
It was the stillness that finally brought me back. That, and the smell I knew too well. Blood. So much blood. I couldn't see Gaius, but I could hear him.  
I turned my head, seeing the red liquid running down the curve of my back. And Gaius, standing there, devouring William.  
"Gaius?" I finally found my voice. He didn't answer at first, finally standing and breaking the ties that binded me. I moved to get up, William's lifeless body falling to the floor.  
Gaius had done many things while we were together. I had not expected kindness from him in centuries. But the betrayal I felt in this moment was something I had never experienced before.  
"Why?" I asked, quietly, pulling a sheet around my naked body. He glanced up from feeding, eyes blazing.  
"Hmm?" he asked, nonchalantly.  
"Why did you kill him?" I asked, stronger. "You said we needed him, that we could not risk our relationship with him."   
Gaius shrugs with a smirk. "I got hungry," he retorts.  
"Then why did you make me do this?" I asked, whimpering. He shot across the room, holding me against the wall.  
"I didn't make you do anything," he growled. "You wanted this." I stood quietly, his hand cutting off my airway.   
"Isn't that right?!" he yelled.  
"Yes," I acquiesced. "I wanted it." He released my throat, and I fell to the floor.  
"Good," he muttered. "Now help me toss the body overboard."


End file.
